Can’t help but thinking that my nudging, cajoling, exhorting and begging will pay off one day. Something will click and my boys will get it.
How will they impact the world?
Until that happens, it’s disconcerting to see them thrash about in the waves of life with no rudder. School remains a bothersome annoyance. Eschew effort at all costs is the first line of their mission statement. Reach for mediocrity, if only they can supersize it with fries.
I fret about this to no end until it hits me. I used to be the same way growing up.
It was my mom’s job to provide food for me (the kind I liked) and walking-around money.
It was her job to make sure the laundry was done. Mine was to make sure the couch cushions were broken in just right.
Unless it involved powdered sugar doughnuts, I didn’t give the future as much as a wink and a nod. My biggest concern was how to get out of doing the dishes.
I’m not sure when it changed for me and I don’t think it happened overnight. It’s amazing how motivated you become when you have to pay for your own stuff. Suddenly you can live without certain necessities of life.
As a father, I didn’t want the girls to flail as long as I did so they ended up hearing the message early and often. What’s your plan? How you going to get there?
With them, it appears to have worked. They’re all in college progressing toward academic degrees.
Not so with the boys. They appear to be cursed with a little too much of the dad slacker DNA.
What ideas do you have for motivating teens?
5 comments
Steph (sahans) says:
May 25, 2010
Well I typically threaten to beat them within an inch of their lives… and when that doesn't work I take away privileges… and when that doesn't work money… and when that doesn't work I just drink a Pepsi and remember it could be worse… I could have Lindsay Lohen as a child.
brettnordquist says:
May 25, 2010
I can see myself in much of what you describe. In Jr. High I couldn't stand school. Disliked church even more and thought my parents were clueless. It took a few years before I pulled it together around 9th grade. I think you've doing what you can: be there for them, listen to them, be the sounding board and provide advice when you feel it will be received.
IsThisMikeOn says:
May 26, 2010
Good advice both of you. Sorry Brett, but I especially like the Pepsi idea. Or Five Hour Energy.
JaeJay says:
May 26, 2010
The thing that I find hard about parenting is that you have to plug away at something for 15 years before you see results. I don't have any boys, so I could be way off the mark, but I think that boys do a LOT of growing up on their Missions. So really, my only thought is, keep doing what you're doing.
LaurieBee says:
May 27, 2010
That "agency" thing really stinks, doesn't it? I bang my head against the wall every time I see my kids repeating my mistakes even though I TOLD them how it was going to turn out. In the end, we are only accountable for the "teaching," not the "learning."