The boys sat side by side in the long, flat cart with feet stretched in front of them. Both ranged from 6 to 10 years in age.
A woman, who was obviously their mother, waited 2 feet away in line to order food.
Every few seconds, she would turn and glare at the boys.
“No smoothies,” she said the first time.
The boys didn’t listen, of course. The younger one continued poking his older brother.
“Shut your mouths,” she said loudly, as she leaned in close to their faces.
That didn’t work.
The om tried jiggling the cart on the big handle behind them. Not once, but twice. I guess if you do that long enough, they will be too dizzy to fight.
She moved closer to the counter before turning around one final time.
“No smoothies for both you,” the mom said in a loud voice.
Her threats had no effect on the boys, of course.
I watched as she walked up to the counter and ordered a smoothie for both of them to share.
Well I guess she showed them.
11 comments
dmich0806 says:
Oct 9, 2009
I am not perfect – by any stretch of the imagination. I do not claim perfection. In fact, I prefer excellence to perfection because it is attainable in my mind. I strive to be an excellent parent. I do not always hit that mark, but one of the things in which I take pride is my adherence to consistency and follow-through. When I tell my eight-year-old son that he will not get the Bakugan Starter Kit that I purchased for him until he can show me with some consistency (Yes, I do expect what I respect) over a period of time that his behavior deserves such a reward, then he will not get it until he is able to demonstrate the desired result.
dmich0806 says:
Oct 9, 2009
The Kit was bought impulsively as a surprise while shopping for a friend's birthday gift. It was on sale and it was something he had been requesting for some time. I knew it would mean something to him that I thought of it. Lo and behold however, when he discovered that the birthday gift was bought for his friend and he got nothing (during the shopping trip, I hid the Kit from him – I'm sneaky like that), he instantly regressed to age three and began pouting as though it was HIS birthday and everyone forgot. There were hands thrust into pants pockets, lower lip stuck out so far that I was sure he would trip on it eventually, foot dragging and even an occasional toe kick to the ground. Now, this is going to seem cruel, but I did it to prove a point to him regarding how tolerant I am of this particular type of behavior because even after eight years of life with me as his mom, he is evidently unaware. I got to the car in the parking lot just before he did and I placed the Kit in his seat. When he got in, I told him to hand it back to me because his behavior did not warrant a reward. Instant tears.
dmich0806 says:
Oct 9, 2009
That was September 25th. Each week since then, we have discussed what kinds of behaviors and actions do deserve such a reward and during that discussion, my child is made aware that he has this week (each week) to demonstrate these behaviors in order to earn the Kit. Thus far, the Kit is still sitting on the entryway table in our home as a reminder to him that he has the opportunity to make good choices and be rewarded for them. It also reminds him that when he makes poor choices, he gets nothing more than what he already has and he must learn to make the best of it. I did not learn this type of parenting from my mom or dad. It is not legal to parent in the way I was raised, though I believe it was effective for the time. And I didn't grow up to be a criminal or a dead-beat loser.
dmich0806 says:
Oct 9, 2009
I value my family and friends and work hard to instill in my child the importance of a traditional moral standard in spite of the non-traditional trend of today's society. It is just my belief. Poor choices have consequences. When I make a poor choice (and I do that more than I care to admit), I suffer a consequence. I want my child (among other people, but I am not raising them) to learn that lesson. It is my goal to be an excellent parent and this is the work I do to attempt that achievement. I'm just sayin'.
I will now step down from my soap box. Thank you for providing this venue for me to vent my feelings on the topic!
Have a spectacular day!
~M
LaurieBee says:
Oct 9, 2009
I agree with dmich0806 on the importance of consistency. Also: "It is not legal to parent in the way I was raised, though I believe it was effective for the time. And I didn't grow up to be a criminal or a dead-beat loser. " I believe it is STILL effective–nothing wrong with an occasional pop on the behind (which is OBVIOUSLY different from abuse).
Steph (sahans) says:
Oct 9, 2009
Wow! But honestly I think that is a fair representation of how most people parent these days. Idle threats and giving in. Why would kids listen if they know there is no true consequence.
Parenting is difficult. And yes sometimes you have to be the "bad guy". But it teaches your children that all decisions and actions have consequences. Be those good or bad.
I could go on and on because this is such a sore subject for me. I am a fan on facebook of well behaved kids… LOL
jennifermoody says:
Oct 10, 2009
That was kind of my take on the whole Blount thing over at UO. We had even used him as an example: "See, kids, he screwed up and now can't play football with his team." We're a little peeved with the university at the moment, as you might expect. Nice follow-through, guys.
MountainMan41 says:
Oct 13, 2009
I think that when Oregon sent Blount packing for the season they thought that their season was already in the toilet. Then after winning a few games they see that it could be a decent season after all so now they are changing their minds on whether they should have booted him. If they had lost the last game or two they would not be considering reinstating him.
brettnordquist says:
Oct 13, 2009
How does one follow those first four comments? Wow.
It seems to be the norm now that the kids get what they want. It's not always easy though. When our kids act out in public, either Kim or I take them to the car. It's not always possible, and it's ruined a few trips to the store and movies, but they kids understand there are consequences for their actions.
dmich0806 says:
Oct 14, 2009
Just in case you were curious…
The Bakugan Starter Kit still waits on the entryway table for just one week of acceptable behavior. We're getting closer! Maybe he'll get it for Christmas!
:0)
KimN says:
Oct 25, 2009
My first thoughts when I read this post were about how that parenting style so obviously doesn't work and who in the world would do it. But…I realize that although I am great at following through while we are out, I need a lot of work on following through at home. It is not easy! I think I am improving though.
On the flip side I am really trying hard to follow through on the good things too. I think that takes just as much work. Things like, "We can read together after dinner", or, "I will try to take just you with me on an errand this weekend" are sometimes easier said than done.