In the car this morning, Riley talks about an adult he works with in school.
He knows much about her because he listens and asks questions. And she’s not the only one.
There’s the lady who allowed Riley to work with her serving lunches during the summer.
He knows the custodians by name in at least three different schools, their hopes and dreams and what they had for dinner last night.
Riley is such a name dropper, this kid. Everywhere we go, he sees somebody else and says hello. I’m wondering if he can get tickets for me through his connections. Or at least a deal on some cleaners.
As I watch him, I think of somebody who’s not content to be a teen, somebody who wants to hang out with the more mature crowd. We’re talking about people with 401ks. Go play with somebody your own size, I think to myself. Hit a ball around. Talk about computers or cars.
But that’s not him. And suddenly I don’t care that some of his friends have mortgages and high blood pressure. Growing up, I had adults in my life that helped shape and mold who I am today.
I’m talking about Joe, a stocky short man with a blond beard. I don’t remember much about him except that he let me come to his house often and I remember how good it felt. Without a doubt, I knew he and his wife loved me.
Don took me on campouts, Mrs. Z let me put an ice cube in my soup to cool it down and I remember those church lessons from Mrs. Blankenship.
And then I think about the Rileys in my life, like the kid I saw in Taco Bell the other day.
I see him and his family standing back deciding what to order. He looks familiar but I don’t want to guess wrong so I proceed to order. Suddenly he jumps up to the counter right beside me. Our shoulders are almost touching and he has a big smile.
I give this young teen a playful nudge and start talking to him. He looks ahead, not making eye contact. But I can tell the banter makes him happy, maybe even a little bit important.
Nobody’s going to give me a plaque or include me in their Oscar acceptance speech for those few minutes in line. I may never see the results right away.
But chances are, those small acts might impact him and others like him more than I realize.
I don’t have to look any further than my own son to realize how true that is.

5 comments
LaurieBee says:
Sep 15, 2009
I always knew that my teenagers were okay because they had an adult "best friend" in my good Catholic buddy, Judi. Judi never broke confidences with my kids, even to me, but I knew she was quietly guiding them along, and I trusted that she would never steer them wrong. Judi and I were Camp Fire "co-leaders", and later I turned over the older kids to Judi so that I could start a younger Camp Fire club for my younger kids. At Camp Fire functions (especially at camp) we made a pact to "trade kids". Our own children ignored us and didn't even speak to us at camp. My kids went to Judi, and Judi's daughter came to me.
Lately, I've notice that quite a few of the younger generation are asking to "friend" me on Facebook. I can't quite figure out why they want to be friends with someone who is almost ready to qualify for senior discounts, but hey, I'll be their friend. Maybe I can in some way return the favor to Judi in an indirect way.
CateHahn says:
Sep 15, 2009
It's no wonder CJ and Riley get along so well! The both gravitate toward adults. CJ has a wonderful circle of friends my age and older who help her learn to handle life. We still are close, but I feel she is much better for the experiences open to her through other adults. And she makes it a point to try to dance with Riley at least once at every dance : )
Steph (sahans) says:
Sep 16, 2009
You have obviously been doing something wrong. A teenager that actually cares about people he talks to. Remembers their names and takes an interest in what they have to say. Seriously, you can only be sucessful as a parent if your teenagers glare at adults and roll their eyes in distain. Can't you encorage him to shoot spit balls, watch mindless tv shows, and eat Twinkies? What kind of parent are you?!?!?!?!
Actually… he sounds like an amazing boy. Which doesn't surprise me one bit considering his parents.
gabbyvalentine says:
Sep 17, 2009
I hope to raise teens like this one day! =)
KimN says:
Sep 27, 2009
I was that kind of kid too. Some of my best friends when I was very young were Grandma Roberts, Uncle Joe, and the newlywed couple down the road, Rock and Sandi. (none of them true relations)
I hadn't thought of myself as being that person to young people today until I read your post. It made me think of all the little people in my life. All the kids that hi-five me at the elementary and call me, "Lincoln's Mom", "Luca's Mom", or "Anna's Mom". I need to remember this post and try to be a better friend to all the younger friends in my life.